“I vow to never underestimate a patients pain..”

As a doctor i raise my hand and admit that in the past i have been guilty of  underestimating a patients symptoms.. I am sure many of my colleagues would say they are guilty of this too.. 

Pain is very subjective.. What one person experiences may not be the same as another.. No one should be judged.. No one should suffer..

Yesterday was a tough day.. Last night was awful.. And today is no better.. 

I am finding it really hard to deal with the amount of pain i am in, my lips, mouth and throat are so sore its agonising.. If your wondering why i have a sore mouth its because one of the possible side effects of chemotherapy is inflammation of the lining of your mouth.. And i think i have it pretty bad..

We went out to dinner for fathers day yesterday.. a brave move going out at a busy time (i can picture my doctors shaking their heads at me).. Unfortunately i didn’t enjoy myself one bit as i was so miserable beacause of the pain.. I think i would have done everyone a favour if i’d kept myself at home..

Last night i couldn’t sleep as the pain was so strong it kept me up.. I didn’t know how i would ‘keep going’ till the morning.. I wished i had a strong tranquilizer to knock me out and give me a few minutes of rest..

I miss being able to drink a simple cup of water without the sensation of razor blades cutting my mouth and throat.. Moving my jaw to talk and smile is enough to cause excruciating pain.. I would never ever wish this upon anyone..

I am thankful to everyone who messaged with useful tips to combat my sore mouth.. I am trying EVERYTHING.. No holding back.. 

So here is a sneak peak into my current “mouthcare regime” (this sounds so boring already..)

I start my day by brushing my teeth with a gentle toothpaste and a kids toothbrush!! Yes.. its soft and gentle and i can just about tolerate it.. There are so many kids toothbrushes on the market how do you choose?? I opted for the one that looked most fun.. well i might aswell make the most of being a kid..

Next.. I use Corsodyl alcohol free mouthwash.. And apply a lip balm as my lips are awful..

During the day i gargle with Difflam (its a numbing oral rinse).. This worked the first few times but now using it makes no difference..

I tried ‘Anbesol’ a gel which has an anaesthetic in it.. it just didnt work at all for me, if anything made things worse!

What has surprisingly been useful is gargling with olive/sesame oil as recommended by an amazing aunt.. However im left with a terrible taste in my mouth which makes me feel nauseous.. But trust me i would pick nausea over pain anyday..

Eating is a mission, but i just have to bite the bullet and deal with the pain or ill collapse.. Im mixing yoghurt with my food and mashing it up so its soft and can be swallowed without chewing! For breakfast today i had biscuits dipped in tea till they were soft enough.. Imagine baby food.. Thats my current diet..

I am trying to keep my energy levels up by drinking smoothies.. But even with the use of a straw its so painful i am getting so fed up and frustrated!!

Banana, kiwi, pears and apple smoothie:

Melon and rosewater:

Today i plan to survive another day.. I know things will get better.. If the pain doesnt improve my determination to keep moving forward will!

Okay enough talk about my sore mouth as it is boring me.. I will get over it.. Moving on..

Today i received the cutest cards by post from my cousins daughters.. They live all the way in California.. How cute???? Now that cheers even the most miserable soul.. Thank you sally and mimi.. 

I also got these beautiful flowers from my inlaws.. My second family who live all the way in Kuwait.. Love them!! Thank you!!!

So what’s next.. I plan to survive another day.. I can’t wait to be pain free and enjoy a meal..