More bad news..

Today i was admitted into hospital after becoming unwell last night with a temperature.. leading up to it over the last few days i had developed pain in my lower neck and chest.. especially on swallowing.. food getting stuck when i swallow meaning i had to take smaller bites to get anything down..

Thats not the real bad news..

About 15 minutes ago i was told that my scan has shown that i have not responded to chemotherapy at all.. the reason i have developed lower neck pain, chest pain and difficulty swallowing is because of the cancer..

This is by far the worst news i could have heard and by far the worst news my doctors finding themselves having to break to me.. its a case of doctor comforting patient and patient comforting doctor.. 

The news comes as no real shock to me.. when i developed the neck and chest pain with the difficulty swallowing i knew it was the cancer.. yesterday i was telling my friends that i am 80% sure my scan would be bad news.. when you reach the stage i have you know what cancer is.. you know when you are sick.. and i am sick..

All is not lost.. i am still alive.. the sun is still shining.. i have my loved ones around me and a God which is compassionate…

This week i will start a new drug called Brentuximab – of monoclonal antibody.. i know we are running out of treatment options.. but I pray for pain free days.. and health which I really miss..

I hope to share more once i have more time to take in this news

For now i ask for your prayers.. not just for me.. for my family and friends too.. especially my mother… 



27 thoughts on “More bad news..

  1. Dearest Milad
    I’m not sure if we’ve met but I know your sisters.

    You came to my mind in the middle of the night. I’m awake as had to comfort my crying child and as I was trying to sleep again you suddenly came into my mind and I find myself asking God to please make you OK. The thought brought me to your blog again which I’ve now read for the second time, I can’t help but feel tearful not only because I imagine your internal distress but because, I’m really touched by your courage and grace. I always feel hopeful reading your blogs. A unique girl with such an authentic style and so graceful in your outlook 💕

    I am praying, ya rab that you recover, and see better days soon.

    Always lean back on the faith you have when you feel at your most fragile..
    And please know that you have many people who care about you and are praying for you. With lots of love, warmest wishes and Du3aas, ❤️
    Zainab Al-Mukhtar


  2. I have come across your blog by coincidence and just started reading. It’s Jummah here and I can hear the call for prayers while reading the bad news and writing this message…I hope and pray that it is a sign that our prayers are bring heard…Allah is with you all the way. Sending you & your loved ones loads of duahs and strength from a small far away island called Mauritius.


  3. I don’t know you but your blog has touched me so much. I pray that you are healed- keep going and things will get better!


  4. You are so inspiring and InshaAllah everything will go well:) You are very strong to endure this pain and Allah will only give as much as you can handle. You are in my prayers. Stay Positive!!!


  5. Your story is inspirational not because of what you are going through but because of your graceful response to your circumstances. Every soul is only given what it can endure and everyone is tested according to their capacity. In my prayers you beautiful soul xxx


  6. Dearest Milad
    You have touched so many with your story. You truly are an inspiration for us all. You have shown us strength, patience and positivity throughout your journey. I believe that Allah swt has prolonged your journey to recovery in order to give you a higher rank in heaven but you will get through this inshaallah don’t ever give up. Stay strong as you have always been and we will continue to pray for your full and speedy recovery.


  7. I’m so touched by your story although we have never met. I’m praying for you and your mum and your whole family with all my heart and with total ikhlas. Much love, a hopeful sister xxx


  8. Dear Milad,

    We’ve never met in person, but I’ve heard so much about you from your friends. I’ve been following your journey and I wanted you to know that I’m rooting for you and truly believe that you will make it through!

    Your blog posts have evoked so much emotions, feelings of happiness when you got your good news, feelings of love when you describe your family and fiancé, feelings of hope when you describe your faith and feelings of admiration when you describe your strength. You are truly a role model and an inspiration.

    Although cancer has been attacking your body, your soul has shined through and inspired so many. What a beautiful beautiful soul you have.

    I’m praying for you and your family and inshAllah one day we’ll get to meet in person!

    Katral-Nada Hassan


  9. Praying for you and praying for happier news. Praying for strength and reading your blog I don’t feel doubtful of your strength… you have been so amazing throughout this journey.. such great Imaan and patience. Inshallah Allah is with you and praying for positivity 🙏🙏🙏❤️. Amman yujeebul muthdar itha da3aa wa yakshuf al soo2.. xxxx


  10. May Allah keep you safe and help you and your family stay strong through this trying time. I pray for your good health. May Allah grant you shifa.


  11. Salam . You are a sweetheart, very brave girl. You are in my prayers my dear. May Allah swt bless you with complete shifa Ameen. You will win this battle in sha Allah. Lot of prayers for you and your family.


  12. I pray for you and your family habibti💗 Inshallah you will fight this cancer! I have so much admiration and respect for you . I wish I could do more for you then just sending you a comment . May Allah give you a quick recovery and relieved your pain 💗


  13. Salams habeebti. We dont know each other. But I had to tell you that you are an inspiration and I have the utmost respect for you.
    I have never willed a person to get better as I have you. Knkw that you ate in my duaas and I pray for sweet miracle.


  14. You are an inspiration and inshAllah you will get through this, stay strong and have faith. You are in my Duas 🙏🏻


  15. I am so sorry that you had to receive this news…praying for you and your family and loved ones and praying for pain free days. I am hoping that your new treatment will work. I have strong faith that you will win this battle! Love from Florida.


  16. May Allah(swt) grant you total shifa and may he give you and your family strength! Will remember you in my duas.


  17. Sorry to hear you’ve had to go through this Milad… Be reminded that the body is capable of what the mind believes, stay strong! All of our Dua’s are with you and wishing you a speedy recovery insha’Allah.


  18. You are strong, and capable. You are a fighter, and the nobles before us [Ahlulbayt (as)] are examples of patience, they will guide you through I know so. You are in my thoughts and prayers, every day. So much love for you, so much!

    Ya Rab ❤️


  19. Hang in there sister. Insha’allah you are granted a speedy recovery and a long, healthy and a safe life. I pray that the Almighty gave your family members and loved ones patience and strength to continue to be by your side.


  20. This is not the news we were hoping for. Insha’Allah its nothing but better news from here on. I pray for strength for you, my dear aunt, A, and all who are with you through this. I pray your journey will be painless moving forward.
    Love you tons❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


  21. Aww habibti Allah ysa3idkum wy9abbirkum inshallah. You will all get through this inshallah and be rewarded for it tremendously. Will always keep you all in my duas ❤️❤️


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