Today i had my appointment with the fertility specialist – my gynaecologist. How ironic a few weeks ago i was working in obstetrics and gynaecology seeing patients myself and here i am today on the other side..

I never thought i would be discussing family planning at this stage of my life. I have been so career driven and independent over the years, the concept of having a child didnt seem to fit into my busy schedule.

When i met my other half from the get-go i knew he loved kids and having a family had to be on the cards. He has always talked a lot about children, what he would name them and even discussing their future education! The more my love for him grew as our relationship progressed i totally changed my mind about motherhood and decided that if having children would make him happy then thats what i want. So we decided to think about concieving after a year or so into our marriage.

Here i am today hearing about the implications chemotherapy can have on my fertility. Suddenly i am having all these tests and hearing numbers thrown at me.. The chance of this and this making you infertile.. Its overwhelming!

The bottom line of todays appointment was regardless of what they do and give me they cannot gurantee my fertility will be okay. On a positive not many ladies who have recieved cancer treatment have gone on to concieve.. I will hold on to that string of hope.. In the end i truly believe these things are in the hand of my lord.. 

Time to focus on getting better!