The results are in..

I prayed and prayed that the next post on my blog would be about sharing good news with everyone.. and guess what..

I AM ON THE ROAD TO BEATING CANCER!!!!

My PET scan has shown that my cancer IS responding to the current chemo drugs I am on.. Which is the best news I have heard in ages.. Now I pray and hope it continues to work and that my next scan brings positive news too!

I received the news over the phone from my cancer nurse specialist.. I had waited for her call so nervously, my phone was always on loud and with me at all times.. I can’t explain the nervous feeling I had.. it’s similar to that feeling you get just before your exam results are revealed, but much more magnified! I was not this nervous when my diagnosis was confirmed because by that point I was convinced it was cancer.. but with this scan result it was so much different.. My doctor had repeatedly said it can go either way.. 

When my nurse broke the news to me I actually lost it.. I screamed down the phone with excitement.. I am convinced she thinks I am a total nut case! I screamed out to my family and shared the news with them before calling my fiance, inlaws and best friends.. I look forward to seeing my doctor and hearing more details about the scan!

I am not cured of cancer yet, I know my journey is long, but at least I can say I am hopefully on the journey to beating cancer.. It will be a minimum of five years and many more scans before I am ‘cured’.. but I feel I have been given a lantern of hope which will now guide me more easily through my journey..

I desperately needed the good news ahead of my next chemo session.. It won’t make the side effects of chemotherapy any better.. but at least I now know this toxic nasty treatment is working at present! 

If all continues to go well I only need 6 more months of chemotherapy in total!!! I am so excited.. I can finally start ticking days off my wall calendar (which I brought for this purpose)..


THANK YOU to everyone who has shown me so much support and prayed for me.. I truly believe that it is the help of God and prayers of everyone which has helped me begin to fight my illness..

I hope this is the first of many more positive results.. I can’t wait to beat cancer and live the normal life I had.. the life i took for granted..

Quick health update: my nausea continues but my vomiting has stopped.. My sore mouth is better today.. I have completely given up on exercising due to my reduced energy levels and poor food intake.. Don’t get me wrong I am not bed bound, I am up and about, but too weak to train.. I have stopped calorie counting and no longer visit the weighing scale, as my nausea means I eat very little.. I am trying to eat as much as I can (the tables have turned) but it is not always easy! The taste in my mouth has also changed which does not help with eating.. I have a constant metallic taste in my mouth.. Like I am licking on metal.. it’s disgusting and makes my nausea worse! My hair or what is left of it is terrible.. I now wear a band/scarf on my head and wore my wig when I went to my friends house on Friday.. My eyebrows have thinned out and my eye lashes are falling off.. Anyway..

Next chemo is this week.. I am very nervous as I threw up a lot with my last chemo.. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.. But I will focus on ticking off the days on my calendar..

Finishing off on positive vibes..

My beautiful friend Jichi.. Thank you soooooo much this is so pretty!!! Love you so much!!!

My better half.. You are my biggest gift.. No more needs to be said.. Thank you..

With love.. XxxX

32 thoughts on “The results are in..

  1. Alif alhamdulilah wal shukr!! Inshallah only up from here and an easy, speedy road to full recovery! So happy for you 😀 you can do this! Lots of love and duas xxxxx

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  2. Hi Milad,
    May be you don’t know me I am Ali’s friend. Following your posts and fight of cancer with proud from the begining and praying for you. I cant tell you how much I am happy for this good news. I was little bit worried when you did not post last week about the results of the scan but when the email poped up and found out that treatment is working it was a relief :))
    Good news will continue Insallah. I know it is very hard to stay positive time to time but all this will pass and only memories of those days and the support from your loved ones will stay.
    Best wishes,
    Tulin

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    1. Hey Tulin!! Thank you so so much for your lovely message! Ali has told me about you, and what a lovely surprise it was when you messaged!! Thank you so much for your kind words which mean so much to me.. Thank you so much for reading my blog its so sweet of you.. Sending you lots and lots of love xxxxxxxx

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  3. Sososososo happy for you Milad!!!! Alif alhamdulilah!!!! The start of full recovery inshallah!!! 😀 😀 love and duas always xxxx

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  4. Salams Milad,

    Alhamdulilah I am soo happy you are on your journey to beat cancer! I check your blog daily and was really hoping to see a positive post about your PET scan. You are so inspirational, continue to stay strong. Lots of prayers your way. Kosar xxx

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  5. Milad, this post today has put a big smile on my face. I am so happy that through all that you have been through, that you are getting positive results. I can only try to imagine what you go through on your bad days, but don’t loose hope and DON’T GIVE UP !!! You are a beautiful person inside and out and are surrounded by love and support and prayers and this will get you through your journey. It may not be a journey I wish on anyone, but God has a purpose for everything that happens in our lives. Yours is the inspiration that you are to others including myself. Keep fighting you brave woman…..You are beating Cancer. Lots of love & hugs xx

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    1. Hi Michelle!!! So lovely to hear from you, hope your well and hope you had an amazing break. Thank you for always being so encouraging!! I really appreciate all your support your so sweet!!! Sending you and your family lots of love xxxxxxx

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  6. Hello!

    You don’t know me however you posted your blog website on the Macmillan website a few months ago and I’ve been following it 🙂

    I’m so pleased to see that your treatment is working and responding! Having the first PET after chemo is the most nerve wracking/anxious time I went through and I experienced every single emotion that you have described in your blog.

    I’ve recently finished treatment for my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (two months ago) and my PET after was pretty much clear/clean after three cycles and I’m due to have another PET on Thursday so I’m right back at that anxious time!

    I just wanted to say that your blog is brilliant, keep up the positivity and if you do ever want to have a chat with someone who has/is going through it then please do get in touch (i think my email gets posted with this comment?)

    All the best.

    Tina

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    1. Hi Tina!!! Your message has put a massive smile on my face.. Thank you so much!! Can i just say i am so so so happy for you, i’m so glad you have completed your treatment and i pray you never face ill health again.. I will be thinking of you and really really pray your PET is all clear on Thursday!!
      Honestly there is nothing like talking to someone who has been through a similar experience, you can have the support of the world but really no one truly understands what you go through. I stopped going on the Macmillan forum as sometimes i try to escape from reality and stay as far away from anything that reminds me of my illness, which is why sometimes i take so long to update my blog, i have even thought of closing it.. But the positive PET result has given me a massive boost.. I cant wait to finish chemo!
      Thank you so so so much for taking the time to read my blog and for your kind words!

      Lots of love and hugs.. Keeping my fingers crossed for you xxxx

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      1. Ahhh I’m pleased it’s made you smile and thank you for your best wishes for Thursday 🙂

        I think that’s the best thing you can do, forums are great for when you have a question etc and need support but I kept looking at them and reading stories and it made me feel a lot worse that I also stopped reading them when I was going through treatment.

        I think that’s why I wrote a comment as you can have the most amazing family/friends/boyfriend in my case however you will still feel alone going through it but I can promise you one thing – getting to the end of your treatment which is hard to see on your bad days is so worth it and you do almost go back to your old life which I never thought I would get back and that was all I prayed and wished for.

        I know I don’t know you but I am so so pleased about your positive PET, this will give you what you need to get through the next few months and make you determined to get to the end 🙂 keep up the blog!!

        My email is tinaiannuzzi@aol.com if you ever need any questions asked or feel down.

        Tina X

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      2. I can not wait to get back to normality!!! It’s the simple things i miss, like having enough hair to brush, travelling, working aghhh im so excited for all of that!!

        Thank you so much for your email address , its so kind of you. Will definitely stay in touch!

        Thank you so much again

        Lots of love

        XxxxxxX

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  7. Habibty Milad this is the best news I’ve heard in a long time!!! Alif alhamdulilah I can’t tell you how happy I am to read this. I’ve been checking your blog nervously every single day to find out what happened with the scan. Inshallah everything gets easier for you from now on. Good luck with your next chemo and we will continue to always pray for you xxx YAY! 😀 😀

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  8. Habibti may allah bless u and insha allah many many more wonderful news like this we are all praying for u we’re keeping up with u through this wonderful blog so keep the positive energy and ur faith strong in allah we love u and cant wait to c u beat this cancer once and for all xx
    Haidar sends his regards to u and is praying for u

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    1. Habibti Rawa so lovely to hear from you! Thank you so much habibti.. I really hope you, Haidar and the kids are all well.. Thank u so much for your lovely message! Miss u loads and love u so much xxxxx

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  9. I am actually in tears with happiness. I’m sitting on the train trying to hold them back. Alhamdulilah x 100000. Best news ever. So proud of your strength. You are my inspiration. Love you and love your family x

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    1. Awwww thats so cute!! Thank you so much habibti!!! I really appreciate everyones prayers which have given me the strength to fight on.. Inshallah all upcoming results are positive too!! Me and my family love you more!!! XxxxxxxxX

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  10. Amazing news. So pleased for you, your nearest and dearest. Despite the constant struggle you remain so positive. I hope you feel so proud of yourself as you definitely should. Keep fighting. Your statement about not taking life for granted is so true – thanks for sharing this golden nugget. Best wishes,
    Emma xx

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