Cycle 5 of chemo complete: Bringing about change

With time i have learnt that writing doesnt come easily, especially to someone who isnt a writer.. To be able to write about something which is so repetitive is really dull.. but every now and again there is something that ‘clicks’ or inspires me to get behind the screen and start writing..

Today my inspiration comes from the US presidential election.. I am no political expert and this blog was never started to started to discuss politics but a little venting does no harm..Today we woke up to the devastating news that Trump won.. To be fair I can’t say its a complete shock.. I mean if the UK voted for Brexit why wouldn’t America vote Trump? The common theme is ‘change’.. But that isn’t always right… The feminist in me is deeply disappointed that Madame Vice President Hillary Clinton (said with a broken Americal accent) lost.. Love her or hate her she is a strong and powerful politician with a wealth of experience… some may argue that her hands are stained with the blood of innocent civilians who have died in wars led or funded by the American government.. But they say the devil you know is better than the one you don’t..  I desperately wanted a woman in the Oval office.. Trump says he will bring ‘change’ and “make America better”.. I say Michelle Obama for office is the change America needs!

Okay enough said about politics (i can ramble all day).. Sticking to the theme of ‘change’ i wanted to update the readers of my blog about the complaint i made regarding my awful experience as an inpatient on one of the wards i was on.. Ref:

I wrote a fairly long and detailed email to the manager of the ward outlining my experience.. I decided i didn’t want to make a formal complaint (via PALs etc) but wrote this email as a letter of complaint from one colleague to another (the hospital i was treated in is were i am employed).. I made it clear from the offset that i was not after any apologises, nor did i want to attack any one individual… but i just simply wanted to make sure that changes would be made, so that no patient experiences what i went through. Aswell as raising my concerns, I mentioned what went well during my stay (there is always something positive about an experience)… I also highlighted how strongly i felt about healthcare proffession listening to their patients, something which fell short in my admission. The email  ended with a list of changes which I felt could be made to improve practice.

I recieved a swift response from the ward manager who was absolutely amazing.. She had dug up my medical notes and been through them in detail… she’d compared my version of events with what was recorded in my medical notes and found it matched (the mistakes that were made). She asked to speak to me over the phone to which i agreed, we had a very lengthy conversation, which ended with her promising that changes would made to improve practice.

Last week the ward manager contacted me again and explained how following my complaint the nurses on the ward have received extra training. The nurse involved in my care was confronted about the incident, subsequently she was asked to reflect on the incident, and has since received extra support and training. Furthermore the manager reassured me that she has highlighted to her staff the importance of listening to patients, and that further changes will be made to improve practice. 

I am absolutely delighted with the outcome and feel I have closure. Most importantly i am hopeful that no other patient will have to experience what i did. I strongly believe it is important to raise concerns, but in a constructive way, which would help bring positive changes.

Thankfully that chapter is closed.. Now to the medical news.. I have now completed my fifth  cycle of chemo hooray!!! Today i went in to hospital to see my consultant, i was told that the treatment for my blood clot has been extended from six weeks to three months.. That is daily injections for that long.. I am begining to find it more difficult to inject myself, with all the bruising my skin seems thicker.. Either that or the needles are blunt! But i can deal with it.. 

As for my chemo the plan is i will have 2 more shots followed by a PET scan in 6 weeks from now.. If the PET scan is good i wont need more chemo only close monitoring and further scans.. I can’t help but feel so incredibly excited at the prospect of not needing further chemo.. I have no idea what my scan will show but i am ever so hopeful and positive.. I am counting down the days till i have my scan.. I am so excited.. I am praying i can start 2017 without needing more chemo.. Among this overwhelming feeling of excitement mixed with anticipation is an element of fear.. But I try not to think of bad scenarios.. What I have come to realise during my journey so far is that what gets you through dark times is positive thinking..

I also saw Shirley today.. ( she has had 2 further operations to remove lumps of cancer.. She has now completed 8 cycles of chemo and is now waiting for a PET scan to see if her cancer has gone.. Lots of prayers that it has.. Love that woman!

I think iv waffled a lot today.. I begining to nod off whilst typing so i will head off to sleep.. But again I would like to thank everyone for the love and support, i feel blessed to have met so many new people on my journey so far.. i am humbled by those who read my blog and actually care about my story… I am truly blessed.. 

One of my beautiful best friends Sama surprised me with a box and of goodies!!! How incredible are they!! The advent calendar is the best gift idea for a woman.. I’m like a excited child opening each day (I’m using it as a count down for my remaining shots of chemo). THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH SAMA.. Love you and  your cute family so much!!!? Forever grateful for everything.. Best gift is having you as my friend!!!

These beautiful flowers arrived yesterday and they have really brightened up the living room.. Just stunning.. Love love love them!!!! Sara K, Taybeh, Sara B.. I LOVE YOU GIRLS.. Thank you so much!!!! What a surprise!! Thank you for all the love and support!

My cousin Roya.. My knitting buddy.. My go to for anything.. THANK U SO MUCH for the round loom!! I have already used it and can’t wait to experiment more with it!! I should share some of my knitting ptojects here.. Thank you for being there everyday non stop support.. LOVE U!!!!!

Last but not least.. My bestfriends Jumanah and Zahra.. Don’t know what I would do without you girls!!! Thank you for everything you do.. Honestly nothing i will say is enough.. I have the most amazing group of bestfriends.. I am so lucky.. Thank you for the time you have spent by my side.. STOP showering me with gifts!!! I honestly cant keep up!! LOVE U GIRLS SOOOOO MUCH.. Thank you for thinking as far ahead as when I recover and for getting me pampering gifts from now.. Thank u!!!!!.. Can’t wait to get better and use them!! Love u..

Ok i am actually falling asleep.. Goodnight.. Lots of love and positive energy.. God bless you all xxxxxx


13 thoughts on “Cycle 5 of chemo complete: Bringing about change

  1. I have followed your blog with interest and understanding as my daughter is just a few steps in front of you on your unwanted journey. 2 days ago we learned she is in remission and what a wonderful feeling it is. I know that you too will soon achieve remission and be able to get on with your life and your career and your wedding. My other daughter, like you, is a doctor so I feel my family has even more in common with you. I will continue to pray for you and admire your strength and determination. x


    1. Hi!! Thank you so much for following my blog.. It really makes me so happy and i just cant stop smiling when I hear such good news.. I am so happy for your daughter and your whole family.. I pray that your daughter has the best of health going forward.. Thank you so much for your kind words and support.. Please send your daughter my love and tell her she is amazing.. I am so happy for her.. Sometimes the only people who will ever understand what its truly like is those who have experienced it themselves or witnessed a love one go through it.. Otherwise words are words.. But reality is just different. Sending your whole family love and positive energy.. I pray your lives are filled with happiness and health forever xxxx


  2. I have followed your blog with interest as my daughter is just a few steps in front of you on the journey. Like my daughter you have amazed and inspired me with your courage and faith. Please take heart from the fact that yesterday my daughter was told she is in remission. In the very near future this will be you. Wishing you a smooth and happy ending to your journey.


  3. You are inspiring. Continue to have faith and InshaAllah you will be cancer free. Thank you for sharing the details of your cancer journey. You are touching many lives with your blog. I know because you have touched mine and i dont even know you personally. So once again Thank you xxx


  4. I have nothing but love for you and your family. إن شاء الله‎‎ 2017 will be a fresh start, cancer free and full of joy. Love you tons ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤


  5. Thank you Milan. You give me so much encouragement with your writing. I have just left hospital after a 10 day stay with an unknown virus/infection with many side effects. I still have some but pleased to be home. I was only on cycle 1 and yet having read your posts I feel more positive that I will get through all 6 or 8 cycles. Thanks, you are an inspiration.


    1. Hey!! Thank you so much for reading my blog, i’m sorry to hear your not well.. Please stay strong and positive.. You will get through this in no time.. Please let me know if I can help you in any way.. Thinking and praying for you.. I’d love to hear how your keeping, please keep me posted. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx


  6. Thank you Milad for your posts, they mean so much to me. Praying for the day you tell us you are cancer free inshaAllah. Always in my thoughts and prayers xxx


  7. Habibty Milad, lots of love and du3aas your way, what a strong woman you are! keep it up and i am so excited for you as you are almost done!! inshallah only brighter days ahead ya rab!!… and always looking forward to your new posts and how you are doing… a sister in Canada:)


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