Today is a huge milestone.. This time last year I had my stem cell transplant.. the days leading up to my transplant and the days after were some of the most difficult days.. its all now a vivid memory.. so much can happen and change in a year.. i wanted to share with you where i am at since my last post and hospital admission..

Health wise praise God I am doing well.. I have come a long long way.. I have three monthly appointments with my haematology team.. I have NOT had a scan since my transplant.. the plan is to have a scan only if I develop symptoms again.. hopefully never.. so I am in remission..

I do find it difficult attending my haematology appointments because i feel i am surrounded by unwell patients in the waiting area who have been or are going through a similar journey as me.. I don’t want to be a patient.. I just want to escape and get as far as possible from that environment.. but on the other hand its a bit of a dilemma as part of me wants to jump up and tell all the patients to keep fighting and beat cancer… my last appointment earlier this month i saw a young girl who evidently had been newly diagnosed.. i had to physically hold myself back from inappropriately going up to her and giving her the fright of her life by hugging her and telling her shes got this and to keep fighting.. i see myself as being part of a unspoken “cancer club” anyone going through a similar health problem i find myself having this automatic connection with and i just want to rally behind them…

Anyway.. from my heart perspective I was under two different cardiologists (heart doctors) and now I am only under one for a fast heart beat (inappropriate tachycardia).. my latest heart scan was thankfully normal and I have chosen not to take medication to slow my heart rate.. i struggle with taking medication and taking a tablet in my case was optional.. so i opted against… I hope to be discharged from the care of my cardiologist this time next year after having one more heart MRI.. counting down the days.. one less doctor to see!

I may have touched upon this in the past.. but since stopping chemotherapy and having had my transplant I have now been officially diagnosed with ‘premature ovarian failure/insufficiency’.. i am menopausal at the age of 30! (Did i tell you… i turned 30 this July!!!! Will share cake pics down below). I am on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) patches.. I was really struggling with sleepless nights and lots of hot flushes and night sweats (menopausal symptoms).. but the medication (HRT) has really helped and its great not having to carry my hand held fan everywhere and to sleep like a human… being menopausal at a young age (young at heart) is not easy.. but its a small price to pay for being alive amongst my loved ones… menopause is one of those taboo topics which women don’t always openly discuss.. but i hope to one day talk about it in more depth.. i am no less of a woman.. i may have lost something but actually i have gained more… i am a survivor and that makes me happy.. anyway todays post is a celebration and update rather than a menopause talk.. but i will one day focus on this topic..

Finally i am on a medication (clopidogrel) to reduce the risk of a stroke.. i was put on this by my neurologist after i had an episode of temporary loss of vision earlier this year.. (refer to my previous posts! Don’t want to keep repeating and boring you..)

In other news… Theresa May is still PM.. and Brexit is still a mess..

No seriously.. in other news.. i got married this year to my amazing other half!!! Yes finally.. as they say.. third time lucky! On the 26th of June 2018 i had a very very very small and intimate wedding.. (small number wise).. i decided that i will leave the huge wedding celebrations for Meghan Markle and ill stick to inviting only the closest to me.. it was a lovely day and i am thankful to be the wife of such a great guy.. he really is my best friend.. i hope to one day share some of the professional photos (ones i can share)…

As i mentioned above.. i turned 30 this year! Its actually been quite a huge year in terms of achievements.. well still being alive at 30 is a good enough achievement for me! Thank you to my amazing family and friends for always being by my side.. special shout out to my husband and parents!

Here is a picture of my birthday cake.. by my incredibly talented friend Narjis founder of ‘Rose and Cake’ —> follow her on FB and instagram.. best cake maker! She also did my wedding cake.. will share pictures when I receive them!

I sat an exam in 2018 which i passed (MRCP part 2) and on the 9th of September I returned to work part time (50% working hours).. my GP programme directors, my supervisor and all my colleagues have been so supportive.. they have made what was a daunting prospect really manageable for which i am truly grateful.. i am taking it really slowly.. but being back at work is really my happy place.. i love my job.. i love seeing patients.. its hard.. really really hard leaving my past baggage behind me and trying to be just a doctor and not a patient.. but i am sure it will get easier with time.. I pray i get the chance to make a difference to someones life…

So in summary.. health wise i have come far.. and i am thankful to be where i am.. i am yet to run a marathon or swim across the Atlantic.. but i am happy with the baby steps i am taking.. i have learnt to enjoy walking through life.. as i get to experience it more and appreciate what is around me.. in my past life i was always running and lost my breath and the meaning of life along the way.. my car is now always on the left lane.. taking it slow.. no need to rush..

My favourite time of year is here.. we are days away from Christmas.. finally i get to celebrate it properly with my loved ones from home and not from hospital.. my Christmas tree is up.. (i know I should invest in a better tree and decorations.. but next year hopefully..)

I pray from the bottom of my heart that every single one of you enjoys this festive period.. it is about family and coming together.. sharing and love.. may you all have a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year..

All my love and positive energy to you all… Milad xxxx

Oh.. I nearly forgot.. i am working on something which i hope to share with everyone come the New Year.. i am really excited to give back.. my way.. fingers crossed i can execute what i am planning.. watch this space!!