Today i was admitted into hospital after becoming unwell last night with a temperature.. leading up to it over the last few days i had developed pain in my lower neck and chest.. especially on swallowing.. food getting stuck when i swallow meaning i had to take smaller bites to get anything down..
Thats not the real bad news..
About 15 minutes ago i was told that my scan has shown that i have not responded to chemotherapy at all.. the reason i have developed lower neck pain, chest pain and difficulty swallowing is because of the cancer..
This is by far the worst news i could have heard and by far the worst news my doctors finding themselves having to break to me.. its a case of doctor comforting patient and patient comforting doctor..
The news comes as no real shock to me.. when i developed the neck and chest pain with the difficulty swallowing i knew it was the cancer.. yesterday i was telling my friends that i am 80% sure my scan would be bad news.. when you reach the stage i have you know what cancer is.. you know when you are sick.. and i am sick..
All is not lost.. i am still alive.. the sun is still shining.. i have my loved ones around me and a God which is compassionate…
This week i will start a new drug called Brentuximab – of monoclonal antibody.. i know we are running out of treatment options.. but I pray for pain free days.. and health which I really miss..
I hope to share more once i have more time to take in this news
For now i ask for your prayers.. not just for me.. for my family and friends too.. especially my mother…