I’ve been finally discharged from hospital and i am back in the comfort of my own home. 

Wow, it feels so good to sleep in my bed, my own pillow and covers.. no beeping noises of patient bells and no nurse waking me up every few hours for blood pressure checks! Honestly there is nothing like home.. I am truly blessed to have a home and a loving family.. and to be living in a country which is safe.. i am so blessed for all the five senses i still have intact.. the ability to see, hear, taste, touch and smell.. to see my loved ones and hear them chat and laugh.. to smell and taste my mums food.. and to be able to hug my family.. we take everything from granted and forget to appreciate the small things in life.. i am thankful to be alive and well.. and thankful to still be writing..

Thankfully all my investigations came back normal.. I wasn’t surprised as i was always convinced what happened was due to a reaction to medication and nothing sinister! 

My ward:

I can’t thank my doctors and nurses enough as they were amazing, i was looked after very well during this admission and i know they went above and beyond to make sure they miss nothing. I must say though i am a nightmare patient.. I started refusing all my medications for the last day and a half and started threatening I would self discharge.. i basically had enough and wanted to be home.. Its funny because when i was in the shoes of a doctor i never understood patients who wouldn’t comply with their medications and threaten to self discharge.. as a doctor you think ‘after all that we are doing for you, you wont take your medications and threaten to self discharge!’.. I used to think how can some patients be so ungrateful.. it really used to irritate me.. however being in the shoes of a patient reality is very different.. i refused my IV drips and medication because i was feeling worse with them, i was throwing up after they were administered.. i am sure there was a psychological element to me throwing up after being given medications, but for me the bottom line was a) I felt better without them, b) I was never convinced i had a infection or anything serious and so felt there was no need for them.. “stubborn” was the word one of my nurses used to describe me.. “rebel” is what i call myself..

Can i just say.. i have had 2 brain scans in the space of a few days.. both of which are normal.. basically i am enjoying telling my family that my brain scans are normal incase they ever doubted it.. i’m sure they’ve always thought i have a few loose bolts.. well now we know my brain is intact its time to fix everything else!

As happy as i am that finally i’m back home, i absolutely gutted that my repeat PET scan has now been delayed till January.. I really wanted to start 2017 knowing the result of my PET scan.. but they want to make sure the result is accurate and there is no “false positive” result.. that means i still have to keep my PICC line in and go into hospital weekly to have it flushed and my dressing changed.. i am also still injecting myself daily.. 

You know what though.. its okay.. its just another test of my patience.. and as my consultant said “dont go from 0 to 100”.. basically i need to stop setting deadlines and take each day as it comes.. 

I am so happy it’s finally December.. i love the festive season.. even if I can’t go out to enjoy it i am lucky to be at home with my family.. 

Our Christmas tree is up..

As is my nieces advent calendar..

Thank you to everyone who visited, messaged or called.. to my family for always being by my side.. and my friends for all the support.. Thank you for for the chocolates, cards and gifts.. Unfortunately as my phone updated i lost a lot of photos from my phone which havnt been backed up which is so annoying.. i hope i can find a way to retrieve them/retake photos.. sorry for not posting pictures.. the only photo to survive..

Thank you Jumanah for spending hours with me in hospital and for the beautiful flowers.. I LOVE U SO MUCH.. thank you for always being there..

I have a colleague and friend who stood by me from day one when i fell ill and even attended my appointments with me.. she is a special loving and caring person.. unfortunately her dad is really unwell and has been in intensive care for a month now.. please pray for him and her family.. praying God gives her, her father and all her family the strength they need.. love you Sakeena.. thank you for visiting me in hospital even when your dad is so poorly.. true friends like you are rare and precious..

Sending lots of love and positive energy to eveyone xxxxx